#look at me now! my own boss

[whatsevengoingonanymore]

I lost a “friend” this year. We never met in person but we lived in the same area, knew the same people, and were the same age. He followed my personal account on instagram about two-ish years ago and was just lurking. He liked and reacted to a lot of my stories. At one point he switched the theme of our chat and that’s when I started talking to him. It was on and off, hot and cold. Maybe more lukewarm than anything. I tried to go hang out with him in person. I barely knew what he looked like. Most of his public photos had his face hidden by his phone.

After it went nowhere and I gave up trying to hang out in person he would send me some local and travel hot spots that looked cool. We still interacted with each other online. He followed my tattoo journey and was one of my biggest supporters online when I was just starting out. Before the summer convention he messaged me telling me he was excited for me because I would be tattooing at this year’s convention. My first convention within my first year of tattooing. He said he looked up to me.

A couple months later I noticed he wasn’t as active anymore online. That’s normal though. We’re adults, we get busy, we’re supposed to outgrow being glued to our phones(working on that myself lol) but one day I was curious about him. So I looked him up on Facebook.

I already knew his Facebook because during a desperate era of my dating life I decided to try Facebook dating. Before I deleted it after a few days I matched with him on there. I just called him by his instagram username and that made him laugh. At least I hope it did. “Lmao” can be a hollow response sometimes.

When I checked his profile there was one new update. It was his own post but written by his mother and at little less than a day old. She was writing to inform everyone that he had passed away. I didn’t know how to feel.

Should I feel sad? I barely knew him. I didn’t know what he was to me at that point. Part of me wished I tried harder to hang out with him in person. Not because of some savior complex but because I wish I had taken the chance. I liked him. On a superficial level albeit. He was attractive. He seemed cool. I wish I got to know him better I wish I wasn’t so scared to be more direct. Reading back at messages I did try but I never really got anything from his end.

In the end, I learned more about him after his death through loved ones who actually knew him. And I feel awful about that. I feel selfish and self centered. I feel selfish and self centered for even feeling that way. Someone lost a son, a brother, a friend. Can I even say I lost a friend?

I’m sorry we never had the opportunity to become friends. Maybe we were friends. I hope we were friends on some level.

[theonewhowails]

nari goes on field trips :]

[heartorbit]

why is their name siffrin when you siff in the cold food and siff out hot eat the food

[jojo-schmo]

I wish I could tell the original artist that this drawing permanently changed the entire direction of my life in 2009. I want to shake their hand, look them in the eye, and admit I would not be who I am today if this drawing didn’t exist.

EDIT: Original artist is @ivynajspyder !!!!

[deus-ex-mona]

my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

It's Wednesday

[sulfurrrr]

> You are encased in the cement that is those you love who love you.

> It protects you. Makes you beautiful. It will immortalize you.

> Your legs are restless.

> You're going to have to move, sooner or later.

> The sun will blind you, at first. The wind will feel like razors against your skin for a time.

> Do you think it'll be worth it?

> Who would choose to become human, over art?

> There will be times where your once graceful shoulders will hunch in pain. Your formerly serene face crumpled in ugly anger.

> You will be so scared to turn around and see the wreckage. Chunks of cement and dust are all that will be left of the statue you used to be.

> Aren't you scared?

[sysig]

I’ve always assumed that gaster and the dreamers had a parental relationship, considering that he seemed pretty young (teenager) when they took him in, plus it’s kinda implied that gaster had a abusive or at least neglectful childhood so it makes sense that he would want to view asgore and torial as parental figures.What do you think?

Also sorry about pestering you about fell!Handplates but it’s such a fun au. But how do you think gaster first reacted when the dreamers started becoming cruel?

Yup! Generally speaking I view Gaster as having a mostly parental/filial relationship with the Dreemurrs, and that evolving into a (mostly) platonic family dynamic, though it is kind of complicated with Asgore being his King and boss and Toriel disappearing and them grieving her together - I think it brought them closer, and not necessarily in only healthy ways ♪

Haha, I don't really mind, but I can only give my own thoughts and opinions on it! Some of it is stuff I'd also like to know haha ♫

I kind of assumed they were Fell from the beginning, that the argument is that Monsters are just Like That, it's in their Nature, and Fellplates!Gaster is trying to find proof that Monsters are capable of change, that with the "correct" kind of Nurture, they don't have to act on their Fell impulses. As for when he was inspired to start looking for that, hmmm ♪

[cheekblush]

slept maybe 4 or 5 hours this whole ordeal is really burdening me i feel so disheartened 😔

[blitz0hno]

So after our ermmmmm turbulent first relationship-turned-situationship of 2 years w our ex highschool best friend our longest lasting relationship is <24hrs total and still managed to end w the person saying I'm terrible???? Fuck.

Tough thing is, I did my damn best but every time I explain this shit it'll ALWAYS sound like I'm leaving something out that I did wrong; but I was always the one apologizing even growing up I always had to apologize, is there just something about me that makes my actions more severe? Why do I have to feel guilty over people who never cared to actually know me? Did I not work hard enough to be "known"? I only ever wanted to see them happy and I thought I expressed that.

Why do people think that it's ok to try and gaslight me just so they don't have to admit fault? I know she blocked me and I said I respected that, only for her to try to tell me that I didn't care. Well I admit fault when it's mine, but the minute I ask the same of the other person they just act like I want to be "right." Well am I wrong for wanting to be CONSIDERED? For wanting my perspective acknowledged the way I take theirs into account?

Plenty of people find others that care for them like that. Why do people stop caring about what I need just because I act independent? I don't even ask for much. I had to stop myself from asking for "basic kindness" when she asked me what I wanted in a partner at the risk of sounding pathetic, but I guess I don't even get that. I just upset motherfuckers one way or another, I don't even have to do anything but be myself.

Is it something you really do earn? Something I have yet to lower myself to deserve? I want someone to be fucking honest with me, allow me to be honest as well, and not abandon me for it. Someone needs to tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Is everyone I'm close with just going to freak out and run the other way the SECOND I mess up, just because I normally don't? Because I try so hard not to, I'm just expected not to? Not an ounce or effort of forgiveness that makes me give people chance after chance even when they hurt me?

Don't lie about me.

It's ok for everyone else but not for me.

Why? Hey,

why can't I just get it right?

[ixtaek]

I have to give a lesson about dealing with depression in a few days and I’m just going to present them with screenshots of my overly detailed weekend schedule with the caption “could a depressed person make this?”

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[svampira]

vtm sire childe dynamics are so dear to me... especially the like. Standard Ventrue embrace model out of all of them it's the one that feels both the most familial and the most impersonal

[guinevereslancelot]

getting spam ads for online jobs....its that bad out here

[i-demand-a-good-username]

Been playing a TON of palworld and I am so autistic over it 😭 it's literally just me and my little goober animal friends that go around and explore just a beautiful open world map and build and try to survive 🫶 what more could I really ask for

[lemon-wedges]

i want you to know that im reading mgs fic because of your drawings. i dont know anything about the games.

I hope it's not even snotacon fic. U just showed up to the ao3 tag and picked up the first one u saw and now have to piece together Kojima plots